Out Of My Control-The lesson I learned about what to let go of!

Tamyara Brown
3 min readJan 31, 2023

You must choose to take hold of what you can control and let go of what you cannot. You cannot control your circumstances, but you can control your character. You cannot control the actions of others, but you can control the choices you make. You cannot control the outcome, but you can control the process.”

Dear People Pleasers,

We have a strong habit of wanting the power of control. To rewrite the narrative of how people think, feel, and how the world goes around. To be the omega and alpha of things going according to our rules and regulations. Yet, the older I get and the wiser I am becoming coming I have a clear understanding every task is not meant for me to carry, control and fix. The way people feel, think or believe about me is none of my business. All that I have control of his my thoughts and actions.

I recently learned that people-pleasing was an act of control. We go above and beyond to please people, to receive their badge of approval only to be still rejected. That we attempt to control people to accept and like us. So we create a habit of not saying no. We create habits of juggling our stuff and others all for the sake of being liked. For people to say kind words to your face, but behind your back to speak totally differently about you .

What I am learning every day is how exhausting it is to focus on other moods, memories, and thoughts of you. How you put in all these efforts and no matter what is out of your control. The same people you try to please will still not like you. The people you jump over the mood will find something you didn’t do correct. No matter what you will never be able to change how they feel. So stop trying to because it’s out of your control.

I’m asking that you take your power back. That you release what is not in your control it’s hindering your growth. It’s so heavy on your body, heart, mind, and soul and it’s weighing you down. It’s a heavy load to love on those who don’t love you. It’s exhausting to bend over backwards knowing that the same results will occur. There is relief in letting go and detaching from people who don’t genuinely like and love you.

Let go of trying to control what grown people do with their life. I know you want to save them…

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Tamyara Brown

Tamyara is an author of eight novels, blogger, graphic and website designer. She is also the host of B.L.A.H Diaries.