Red Flags, Hope & Healing
Dear Beautiful Queens,
I write this blog to encourage you because I, too, have been hurt by someone I thought loved me. Sadly, more than once. So often, the question is, why do we stay? The answer is simple — we all long to love and to be loved.
I’ve been the woman who forgave and went back, hoping he would change. Why? Because we all desire companionship and a partner to call our own. I’ve been cheated on, lied to, and betrayed, yet I returned, believing my love could be the solution to the problem.
But here’s the truth: relationships work when love is equally yoked, and both people are willing to do the work. It doesn’t make us wrong for wanting to be loved, but love should never come at the cost of our peace or self-worth.
As a woman who has experienced heartbreak and healing, I’ve learned to see things for what they are — not for what I want them to be. Along the way, I discovered a few lessons, and I hope they bring you healing, wisdom, and inspiration.
Lessons in Love and Heartbreak:
1. Red flags are often the truth covered in beautiful lies. Trust your intuition — it never lies.
2. His ex’s criticism may carry some truth. Not every ex is bitter, so don’t let love blind you to warnings.
3. Most men always tell on themselves. Pay attention — his anger or defensiveness can be a diversion.
4. He who loves you will protect your heart, mind, and spirit. True love won’t violate your trust. He would never make you feel like a clown.
5. Gifts can sometimes cover guilt. Be cautious when apologies come wrapped in ribbons instead of accountability.
6. Don’t cry over a man who wouldn’t cry over you. If he dismisses your feelings, thoughts, and pain, he doesn’t value you. If every word out of his mouth is judgement versus words of love he isn’t that into you.
7. Know this — if you stay after the first violation, he’ll believe he can repeat the behavior. Your boundaries teach others how to treat you.
You are love. And you deserve a love that values and cherishes every part of you — a love rooted in trust, honor, and respect.
My prayer tonight is that you find an everlasting love that radiates. May you be blessed with a man who protects your heart, honors your spirit, and never condemns your soul.
And until that love finds you, may you remember that the love you give to yourself sets the standard for the love you receive.
With love and strength,
A Sister Who Knows
