Scripted Differently- Resolving My Era of Self Doubts.

I always thought the weapons formed against me would prosper. My looks, being told I wasn’t pretty, being cheated on, betrayed, weight, poverty — the list of imperfections seemed endless. I believed the script of my life was fixed, unchangeable, and beyond my control. But now, it’s the opening of my purging season, a renewal of my mind, heart, and spirit.

Being transparent, I felt stuck. My insecurities made me fear everything I wanted, so I felt I needed to settle to be accepted. It was my conflict of interest. I always thought my circumstances, mistakes, and just being comfortable with existing defined me.

From childhood to adulthood, I felt different. I didn’t chase the latest fashion trends or beauty standards. Instead, I found comfort in reading books, graphic design, and writing, perfectly at ease in jeans and a hoodie. This sense of being different often made me feel that the odds were against me. Years of self-doubt and the belief kept me trapped in my own stinking thinking.

This is not a statement of sadness or a pity party — just a moment of self-reflection. They say to understand oneself you have to be openly honest to heal. You must purge old thoughts, habits, and behaviors so change can begin. That is the season I am in now breaking chains that hold me tight to the things I know I can…