Stop Breaking Your Own Heart!

Tamyara Brown
3 min readJan 2, 2022

Now more than ever, figuring out the Love you deserve!

I listened as the fireworks went off; the day was exhausting from the long work week. I was alone in my bed; my children went out. My grandson is upstairs playing his video game. The burning question I asked myself was, what will you change for the New Year? What do you want out of the year? The answer came as the clock struck twelve, and it was to stop breaking my own heart. It’s my worst habit to date. You wonder how? It is simply loving people who don’t love me the way I deserve to be. Ignoring the red flags and the truth because let’s face it, we can’t or don’t know how to handle rejection. This year I vow to go into friendships and relationships wisely. To believe their words and actions when it is designed to hurt me. The habit I have is going back to the same behaviors breaking me down. Allowing myself to be the punching bag as if I am glutton for punishment. I no longer want to be the woman always complaining about friendships and relationships that don’t work. I’m not seeking for them to change, only me. I’m learning to take words at face value and remove myself.

Believe their Actions

Actions will always speak louder than their words. You can’t love me if you’re constantly tearing me down. I notice that my pattern is accepting the things that don’t align with me. I believe their words when their actions speak differently.

You break your own heart when you let people treat you less than you deserve and not speak up. You continue to let them rewrite the chapters of what love is. You know what you want out of the people you love. You know what you bring to the table. If you are a good friend, available when necessary, committed, kind, and have all the good qualities that come with love. The lesson I learned you don’t have to break your own heart to be accepted, liked or loved. You don’t have to tolerate anything just for the sake of saying you have friends or are in a relationship.

The Love you Deserve

The deepest love we can have is of ourselves. Be fair with yourself and your heart. I get it more than people know that we all want to be accepted. Yet, I don’t want my heart, mind, and spirit to be the casualty of someone’s war. True friendships and love doesn’t hurt. People we are around feel good, and it doesn’t fear they are gossiping or plotting to harm you. Breaking our hearts is no more an extended option simply because I want you in my life. You are worthy of being loved. There are enough people in the world willing to give the love you deserve.

I hope today you will take the time to heal your very heart by deciding to build authentic relationships, so you don’t have to complain about the haters or the lack of love. Instead of complaining, make the change. Instead of staying stuck in relationships that hurt, remove yourself, not because you don’t love them but because you love yourself.



Tamyara Brown

Tamyara is an author of eight novels, blogger, graphic and website designer. She is also the host of B.L.A.H Diaries.