When I was a little girl, my mother said to my sisters and me, “I should have gotten pregnant by a white or Hispanic man. I cursed you girls with my dark skin, nappy hair and a society that will forever call you ugly. Justice, Jewel & Janice you will have to be more, do more, and go the extra mile to be loved, liked, and accepted. You better deal with the reality now as a child, because it will crush you as an adult. You will always be the butt of the joke, the problem, and most of all going against every woman lighter than a brown paper bag, of a unique race, straight hair & pretty eyes. Remember this the black woman with nappy hair, a broad nose, thick lips, and looks like us will always have the title ugly. You will be stereotyped no matter what. Life is a bitch and believe me you will come across them ready to dog you because of your complexion and race.”- Mama
I wasn’t beefing with my husband who cheated on me. I knew who he was but refused to believe it. I didn’t want a confrontation with him I wanted his heart. The drama came from my Mama haunting words black women never get a happy ending. The people in my life wrote a death sentence to our marriage before I said, I do. Me, a brown skin woman, broad nose, full lips, minimal makeup, a Pisces queen, and his wife. Devon’s intellect, his square jaw, his spontaneity, muscles, and big dick wrote love on my soul. The moment he cried with me I knew he was the man I could spend my life with. With that belief, I accepted his insecurities, lust for other women, and his lack of ambition. I became his wife, but he was never mine. Maybe, just maybe my entire mission of staying in this terrible marriage was to rewrite the narrative black women can get and keep a marriage.
He sang sweet words of loving the deep melanin of my skin, but in the same breath suggested how Beyonce, Ciara, and Cardi B complexion was perfect, their body was exquisite. He obsessed with how he never wanted our daughters to be dark skin and when he heard I couldn’t have children. He let out a sigh of relief.
“Never get fat like your sister. Never look like those girls with muffin tops and please don’t let your…