The Kaleidoscope of Finding the Strength to admit You are the Problem!!

Tamyara Brown
3 min readAug 27

Today’s world is full of motivational quotes and blogs. It is our kaleidoscope of hope, heroism, and the elixir to fix what ails our heart. The stories we tell ourselves through the lens of complex colors and shapes is that we are well striving and thriving. Dare we not come to the table to say openly and honestly that I am exhausted? That today those motivational quotes are not helping me dig out of this deep depression. We pretty our heartbreaks and dismay with antecdotes because temporarily it works. It’s like placing a band aid on wound that needs snitches. Our ugly truths often hide behind the camera we keep on. Our desire is for people to perceive us ideally for likes and hearts. We want them to accept us when we don’t know who we are and that is how we are a problem.

Have you ever taken a serious inventory of your life? I’m not talking about the perfect side of us, but the side of us that is unforgiving, full of assumptions that people dislike us. We have a tendency to gossip about others as soon as they leave. You shut yourself off when you can’t control the person you’re trying to control. Whether it be your husband, family, friends or children. A heart that pledged to never love again because the wounds hurt too deep. The acts of unkindness towards yourself. The days you neglected your time and energy towards your goals and dreams. It’s time to break the shackles and be true to us. So many people have been burned, disappointed, disrespected, downgraded, gossiped about, and left us with major scars. All of those pains have taught us to become silent to our truths.

We want to yell out so badly, “I need help, but we muffle it with fake smiles, and tears wiped away.” Our strength and shields have blocked us from mending and receiving the help we need.The deep roots of struggles we hide with a pretty picture and the title of being strong for everyone. There is a reason because our personal pains and problems we believe don’t exist.

Many of us wearing other people’s lenses, listening to their beliefs, and it has shaped our kaleidoscope of life. Their actions have influenced who we are today. We forget in the process that are billions of people on this earth waiting to get to know us, to like and love us in the way we deserved. We are not moving when opportunity presents itself because our fear outweighs faith. We don’t give ourselves the opportunities we deserve because of rejection.

We don’t gift ourselves the ability to say no because we are people pleasing the very people who wouldn’t do the same for you. We have to be learned the power of no and becoming disciplined in our goals and dreams. Learn the power of discipline over motivation to change your life. Be brave enough to take back your power by changing fix your life. You can complain every waking second of your life about being sick and tired. Guess what? It won’t change until you do. People will not stop stop mistreating you until you end the friendship, relationship and cut off some family members.

Lastly, we have to trade our grudges for grace. Forgive and set our freedom. Let go of the entrapment that we can’t shift our lives and move forward. Stop ignoring your needs to meet others. It’s okay to give of your energy, time, but don’t deplete yourself. We all have problems but we must be willing to solve them.

Tamyara Brown

Tamyara is an author of eight novels, blogger, graphic and website designer. She is also the host of B.L.A.H Diaries.