The Road to Fifty

The Reflection and lessons you learned while aging

I took a minute last night to reflect on my road to becoming fifty years old. My time of turning that age doesn’t happen until 2024, but I want to reflect on embracing it and rediscovering myself. My body is changing, my mind is wiser, and my heart has endured some pains and a lot of tragedies. I’ve missed shots and opportunities by choosing the word sacrifice and loving others who mean the world to me. I’ve made mistakes and poor decisions, but as each day passes, I am realizing this is the process of life. Aging comes with things that happen for a reason. It seasons us to become who we are today. I reflected on my journey forward because the past has happened and it cannot be changed. I asked myself what is the true meaning of living forward. How do I accept the age of fifty when I am not where I like to be? How do I fix it? I took a look at the lessons I learned and learning.

Today, at 3:48 am I am up doing what I love, writing this blog. It is the makeup of me. I fell in love with books, words and now writing them. I think back to all the times I wanted to do as others did in my youth, and well up in my forties. Looking at people’s lives, they seem perfect, and without flaws. They came, saw, and accomplished everything. I chose sacrifice by being a teen mother and birthing six children, to caring for a sick child all in the name of love. My children made me who I am today.The lessons on living and loving them made me a warrior. I’m grateful for the challenges, and discovering them. The imperfections of me, and how I think back on the bravery I wish I had to step out on faith. How I would of taken care of me first. It was my failures of being last on my list.

Many believe and even I that the path I took wasn’t always brilliant decisions. I hit brick walls figuring out life. I neglected me, chastised and lost faith. I accepted people who wasn’t worthy of my love for the sake of acceptance. My truths because now I can find and love me. What I know now is that every experience became a lesson. A moment to grow from, and I count them as my period of watering my soul. The choices enlightened me, taught me the meaning of unconditional love, and even how to let go and let God. My faults and failures birthed a new path of awakenings. I’m so different now and now…