There she sat in front of her mirror, the room was silent, and only the thoughts in her head were speaking. A single tear streamed and she repeated, “I’m a strong woman not built to be broken.” The mantra and affirmation of her life. Not easily broken is tattooed on her left shoulder. It is the actual facts of her life. The storms have come swiftly, and yet she steps into the world as if nothing has happened. She has survived the storms designed to break her in the public eye. Beautifully dressed, but secretly depressed. Face beat to the Gods with makeup to hide the tear stains. She is beautifully repaired by 7 a.m. and the reset button is pressed for her to erase the sadness of the night before, the week, the day, and even the hour.
It doesn’t matter the color of skin tone, race, and ethnicity the golden rule for the woman is weakness is not allowed. Even with permission to cry, to take a mental health day to repair the brokenness we deny our own request. We come into personal, relationships, and work-life scarred and in fear of new relationships. Striving to stay flawlessly and financially secure with the life we so desired. Yet, being in a deficit with the fear of loving again because we have major hits to the mind, heart, and spirit.
I was once told you can be strong and still need repair. You can have all your life together, but in the dead of the night be falling apart. That you can be blessed with accolades, and dollars and still feel incomplete. The truth of the matter is that amazingly strong women break. Amazingly confident women need a boost in their esteem. Strong women can be well put together but still lack self-care when it comes to their time, mindset and mental health.
Single strong women can be in a room full of dope people and feel lonely. That we have the right to desire companionship, lovemaking, and falling in love. Being strong does not mean avoiding your wants and desires.
The very lesson I am learning is that if you are strong but unfulfilled it is time to change. To eat, love, dance, and pray. To stop waiting for the perfect moment or opportunity. That I can cry, and still laugh. That every day of the week I don’t have to feel remorseful for sleeping in. I don’t have to wait for a judge and juror to give me the okay. Neither do you!